This goes with my BPD. I tend to flip flop back and forth between thinking someone is the most amazing person on the planet, and then within a split second due to something or other, feeling the complete opposite.
Someone I care for really deeply said something this evening and I felt my whole perception of this person change. I hate the feeling. It’s like looking someone in the face and suddenly their face begins morphing into a complete stranger. Someone you once felt so close to, so comfortable and safe with, you now feel so afraid of, disgusted by (?), and unfamiliar with.
I try really hard to catch myself when this happens. I can sort of cognitively catch it, but the emotions and physical reactions don’t stop. They can’t be stopped.