This post is about how you tell a new potential partner that you have BPD (or any other mental illness).
This is not to discriminate against disorders or to say that mine is worse than yours, but I do believe that the effects BPD has on a loved one may potentially be more risky than say, just having depression. That’s here nor there.
BPD is like having an inner jack-in-the box. Except what comes out is neither happy, nor something that will make you laugh and giggle, close, and rewind to do it again. (In actuality, I find Jack-in-the-boxes to be rather disturbing, so this analogy seems fitting in my mind.) And just as with BPD, you never know when it will happen. The smallest bump of that trigger handle can bring it right out full force and there’s no turning back.
So here’s how it goes.
Girl meets boy. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy back. Boy tells girl he loves her. Girl’s BPD says…”You should run. He’s going to hurt you.” Girl loves boy back but wow, this BPD really starts messing with her. Girl goes with her heart and tries to have a relationship with boy. POP! BPD introduces itself into the equation. Boy is frightened, worried, etc. Girl is ashamed and is certain he will now leave her. BPD laughs, hides, and does it’s jack-in-the-box trick again, and again….and again…
So my question is…how do you tell your new potential partner that you have BPD? I’d love to hear your stories, opinions, or advice. I’m an advocate of telling someone up front, but wow. How? And when exactly is the right time?
So hard. Please share!