Yes. Boredom. Boredom is a danger zone for me. When I get too bored, I get anxious. I get antsy. My mood quickly yet subtly goes from being happy and energetic, to being sad. From there I begin getting angry as well as still being sad. I want to burst into tears. All the while my brain continues racing, but faster now.
It needs something to do, something to focus on, but it can’t seem to focus on anything. I begin feeling more and more in need of…of what? I don’t even know. And the more it needs, the more nothing satisfies and the worse I get.
I can’t stand this. It’s snowing. No work. No school. No nothing. I’m stuck inside. There’s nothing to do that’s enough to soothe me right now. Anything relaxing isn’t an option because relaxation leaves more room for my brain to race through things and territories it doesn’t belong.
I feel like I’m running towards a cliff and I can’t stop myself. Someone stop me. I wish someone could just grab me and hug me and not let me go until I calmed down.