Let me go

Help me

I feel like I’m going to lose it. I haven’t felt this badly in a long time, and it just keeps getting worse. I can’t stop it. I feel like I’ve been standing on a train track, watching the train coming for me and now it’s running me over, and I’m alive and awake through the entire thing as it painfully rips every bit of me to shreds. And if I had the choice to get free or to let it finish me off, without a doubt I’d want it to finish me off. It hurts so bad and the thought of repeating this pain is enough to make me want it to end forever.

There’s a phrase that says, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”. I disagree with this. Anyone who has BPD knows that the problem isn’t temporary. It’s a life long torturous cycle, and I feel like I spend my every day looking to end it forever. But I know this won’t happen, and frankly, I’m tired.

Just let me go, BPD…please…

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