Face down

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I can’t take this anymore. My insides are panicking. I need relief. I can’t fucking stand living this way anymore, and feeling this way. I am screaming inside. I don’t know what to do and I have no one to go to. No one who understands. No one who wouldn’t just thinking I was crazy. No one who wouldn’t laugh because the issues sound so minuscule to them. No one who would just listen, hear me, validate, and give me a hug while I cried and went crazy in their arms until I got it all out.

God I’m so fucking tired. SO. FUCKING. TIRED. I hate you BPD. Why can’t I beat this? I fight so hard. I’m so fucked up inside right now that I feel like I’m going to throw up. Like my body doesn’t know what else to do to get rid of what’s inside.

Help. I just need help. I don’t know what will help me or how anyone can help. I just know I need it. God, help me. 😦 Stop leaving me alone. I can’t do it.

I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, face first.

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