When you just feel sad

What do you do when you just feel sad? I’ve tried listening to music, playing with the kids, taking a nap…but nothing seems to get me over this overall general feeling of pure sadness.

I feel like I’m on the verge of tears but I don’t know why. I feel like I just want to lay under a blanket all alone in silence. I feel like it’s hard to breathe because I just lack the strength to keep inhaling and the sadness puts such a weight on me, it’s hard to fill my lungs. I feel weird. I look around and see life happening all around me and I feel so far away from it. Like, why does life seem to be so much different for everyone else? Why do I seem to experience it in such a different way? Why is it so sad for me? How do people stay happy, involved, but most of all, connected? I struggle to stay connected but I feel like I have no control over it. I think I am disconnected more than I am connected.

I know there are times that I enjoy life, its just so rare. I wish I could be that version of me all the time: happy, motivated, connected, “in the moment”, fun, smiley, enjoyable. There are days that I “stop and smell the roses” and I just enjoy life. I wish those days far outweighed my bad days…but they don’t. 😦 I don’t remember when I felt like that last. That’s not to say that it was a long time ago, I just don’t remember. Just like when I feel that way, I can’t remember when I felt badly, I just know that I previously did.

Instead, I’m feeling down. I feel sad. Uncomfortable in my own skin. Unloved. Tired. Slightly suicidal…not in a raging “I want to kill myself” kind of way, but more in an depressed “Sigh, I’d like to die” kind of way.

Is it bad that I pray for God to take me?

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “When you just feel sad

  1. I really do understand the way you feel, having had days like these myself, a lot of the time.

    If it makes you feel any better, you are not alone. I know how difficult days like these are. I’ve been in bed all day and am feeling the same as you are… It’s horrible, I know.

    From what I am gradually learning but finding hard to put in to place, is the DBT coping techniques. What I am succeeding in doing so far, some of the time, is bringing myself in to the moment and grounding myself.

    I haven’t managed to do so today, but you may want to try it.

    I lay on my back on my bed. Put both hands on my stomach. Close my eyes. I start to breathe in through my nose, feel my stomach fill up with air like a balloon (envision it in your mind) and exhale through your mouth. Just do it at your own pace and don’t count seconds etc. Once I feel myself slow down and start to relax (it can take 20 minutes even), I start to tell myself to just calm down and reconnect. I tell myself to stop being so hard on myself. That I will make it worse by doing that. Give myself a break. That nobody is perfect and I can’t succeed all the time. And gradually I become more in the moment and grounded and less disconnected.

    Even if it gives me a good 30 minute break, it satisfies me. Hopefully the more we practice these things, the longer the positive affects will last.

    I hope you feel better very soon.

    1. Hi. Thank you for your reply. I just started DBT. I’ve only had one session so far but I am working on mindfulness. I will certainly try your technique. It’s harder than what I thought it should be; getting in the moment.

      Thank you again for the tips and for sharing your experiences. 🙂

  2. It’s like having David Blaine or Criss Angel living in your head. You’re gonna see the illusion they want you to see, not what you should know is there.
    Abbracadabbra – you feel like… SHIT!!! And then they pull off the sheet, and there’s an endless stream of tears where the smile used to be.
    WTF? How’d that happen? How’d they do that?
    It takes time seeing through the illusions.
    And why would you want your life to be like anyone else’s? Shit, you might get stuck with Heidi Montag’s. Christ, talk about wanting to die.
    The DBT is a great help, but THE structure for it as devised by Dr. Marsha calls for a minimum of one hour of individual psychotherapy for a minimum of one day a week for a minimum of three years along with the minimum 3 1/2 hours of classed per week. Google it. That’s HER idea, and she’s the Patron Saint of the program.
    You’re not going to be able to rid your demons until you can recognize them, won’t be able to kick ’em in the balls till you’re close enough to look them in the eye.
    Go after them, Don’t run from them. They’re as scared of you catching up with them as you are of them catching you. You have a life after them. If they ain’t bothering you, they cease to exist

    I told a (foreignly educated) ER doctor one time that if I didn’t wake up the next morning I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. BOOM! and he had me in the ambulance heading off to the home. Never said I wanted to die. Five minutes into the eval, the English speaking therapist releases me. Understood my idea and my sense of humor. Probably knew the feeling:
    hadn’t given up, just got worn down.

    “I don’t remember when I felt like that last. That’s not to say that it was a long time ago, I just don’t remember. Just like when I feel that way, I can’t remember when I felt badly, I just know that I previously did.”

    Almost sounds like it seemingly came from nowhere.
    Can’t expect it to leave that quickly now that it’s homesteaded in your heart and soul and mine.
    Those “good” moments last a bit longer day by day.
    Pride yourself in those. Embrace them and they will hug you back.

    You’re on your way. It just might be easier for others to see it.

    Take care, and I’ll be thinking of you.

    Harris

What say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s