Happy memories of reference

I had a great day and night with my boyfriend yesterday. I felt pretty down in the morning. I think it was because yesterday we were going to my mom’s for a pool party and were to meet her boyfriend for the first time. It’s been really hard for me.

So, I stopped to see my boyfriend before the party, just for a kiss hello and goodbye. I felt SO much better after just seeing him for that little bit. I was happy for the rest of the day. Then he came to sleepover last night and it was so fun. I couldn’t sleep and felt hyper and restless so I rolled on top of him and told him I was bored. He suggested playing this phone game that I like so we each played on our own phones and competed. He kept falling asleep while trying to play, haha! Then I kept bugging him and waking him up. I felt a little bad but we were full of laughs, it was so fun!!! I love laughing with him 🙂

Anyway, even this morning when he had to go, it wasn’t as bad. I had to talk myself through it a little, but I didn’t cry or panic this time. There was a slight mental and emotional disturbance, and then I went back to sleep for a little.

I hope I will be ok today. I just wanted to write about this because A) I always write about bad stuff, and B) I wanted something to look back to when I’m not feeling well.

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2 thoughts on “Happy memories of reference

  1. Good morning (here) Mandi.
    That was a great post to read a few minutes after I got up. Shows that you still have that spark in you that will let you live in the moment, enjoy the living bejeezus out of it and move on to the next. Kind of like the mindfulness process.
    Our son and daughter-in-law and grandson Josiah are coming by today for a while. We don’t know how much. It’s the second time in a year and a half that we’ve seen them. They live six hours away, and with my wife’s back slowly fusing into one solid bone we just can’t make it down there as often as we like. Haven’t even seen them down there since they moved to Morro Bay, and that’s a place we’ve always wanted to visit.
    They stayed up in Sacramento with her family since Friday night, and my feelings were really hurt they couldn’t manage to make it down here for one of these nights.
    Their story kept changing about when they’d finally get down here. First sounded like we’d have a whole night with them, then most of the following day. Figured we’d watch “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (Josiah has NEVER seen it and he’s gonna be nine! What kind of childhood is that?), but our son said his back was hurting, our bed is too hard for him, etc., etc.
    Our daughter-in-law’s sister has a way of pushing our d-I-l’s buttons till she gets her way, our son a way of deciding it isn’t worth listening to the bitch going on and on and on, so he caves in.
    They see that twat at least once or twice a month when she invites herself down the their place – we see them once a year.

    I started thinking the other night that I’ll be luck if I get to see Josiah maybe ten times more in my entire remaining life (if I’m lucky) and ended up sobbing for hours. Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t talk about it, and when I finally did -telling my wife it would sound silly – she told be to “Snap out of it”.
    That REALLY did not go well for me but I stayed quiet about it. I never, ever downplayed her “moments” like that.

    I have now decided I’m just going to savor every moment today, keep smiling and laughing and acting appropriately goofy with the kid, cry my eyes out after he leaves and start figuring out how to get down there to see them.

    Mindfulness.

    I’m even practicing now.

    There’s hope for both of us lunatics, sweetheart.

    Your post got it started for me.

    How the hell you like that one?

    Best wishes, little sister.
    And proud of you.

    Harris

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