He’s just not that into you…

I don’t feel like I’m good enough for him. He is handsome, successful, has hobbies, he’s talented, accomplished, he has tons of friends and people who care about him. Then there’s me. I know little about camping and hiking, which is only the biggest thing about him.

He said he told his friend that he was bringing his girlfriend along on the trip. She told him he was weird because he’d been seeing me for 18 months and I’ve never slept in a hammock. I’m trying to find the humor in it, but all I can focus on is that she thinks he is weird because I’M SO NOT HIS TYPE. Like, how could he possibly be into me? It’s like a rock star dating a girl who’s never heard of a guitar, or a zookeeper dating a sadistic animal abuser.

I feel so down. I tried to tell him how I was feeling and he didn’t say much. I hate when he does that. I can’t tell if it’s because he doesn’t know what to say, or he is afraid of saying the wrong thing…but all I hear is, “YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT. I’M NOT SURE WHY I’M WITH YOU EITHER. I NEED TO RETHINK THIS. YEA, I SHOULD LEAVE YOU. YOU’RE NOT FOR ME.”

😦 Now I’m just terrified. Terrified that some beautiful camper hiker girl will come along, and she’ll know all these cool things about gear, and he will fall in love with her, and why wouldn’t he? She would be perfect for him. He would love her, way more than he could ever love me, and his friends would all approve so much more because SHE’D BE PERFECT FOR HIM. JUST HIST TYPE. Not like that girl who had never slept in a hammock. She was a joke.

I really hate me right now. The last thing I want is to be around that girl who already thinks I don’t belong, and she’s one of the two we are going with.

 

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7 thoughts on “He’s just not that into you…

  1. My wife was raised in the plains northeast of Denver; I was raised twelve miles from the heart of Manhattan. While I have never approached the subject directly, I imagine I was going to see Broadway plays and the New York Philharmonic at Carnegie Hall while she was tipping cows and going to keggers in the back corner of someone’s corn field.
    Some of my favorite movies are older than I am; my wife doesn’t like to watch movies that are black and white. Even some of the newest releases. I had to sit through “Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants” when I rented “Nebraska” at Red Box.
    I am a writer, and I tend to gravitate towards certain subjects of absolutely no interest to her and my rambling style drives her apeshit. I don’t figure she’s read but maybe a tenth of the things I have written.
    I love baseball. I worship the game. She can’t sit through the bottom of the first until she’s asking when it will be over. after I once again tell her “nobody knows” she tells me she’s never going to another game. Just like she said the time before.
    I love camping, with our cozy three-man tent, self-inflating 2″ sleeping pads coupled with a pressed foam pad on top. She would be much happier in a pop-up camper with a full propane stove and hook-ups for her blow dryer.
    She’s BPD, PTSD and then some. I’m Depression, Anxiety and ADD, and do I have to mention again how long we’ve been married.
    Some of the most fascinating qualities I find in her are the ones that were foreign to me up until the time I met her.

    Maybe, though, it might have been quite a bit easier if it were you and him and a bunch of our four-legged cousins and God Himself to keep you company …
    … and I will give him this much: I could see where a hammock could be super comfortable.
    And in eighteen months, he hasn’t listened to her.
    That tell you something?

    Stay strong, kid. What you go through on a daily basis likely makes you stronger than a lot of the people you than people who can skip to the top of a 14,000′ peak and cartwheel back down.

    1. This! So much this.

      My partner and I are the last people anyone expected to be together. We’re almost total opposites — but we introduce each other to a world that we wouldn’t have known without each other! And yes, sometimes there’s things we don’t enjoy that our partner does, and that’s okay.

      I mean, I used to love fishing when I was a kid, and he’s really into it. So we went fishing together once. Five minutes in, I was bored out of my mind. I walked home and left him there. πŸ˜‰ He doesn’t care.

      He likes poetry (but hates admitting it), so I thought that was something we could really bond over because I’m totally into that. Yeah, turns out he likes rhyming poetry, and just about everything he likes about poetry is stuff I hate. πŸ˜‰ That’s okay.

      He hates crowds and prefers one on one, whereas I hate one on one and would prefer to be in a crowd.

      He’s really into watching videos of stupid people doing stupid things and pranks; I don’t think they’re even slightly funny most of the time because people get hurt, and I’d never prank someone.

      We bond over State of Origin – even though we go for opposite teams. We bond over our dog, because we both adore her. We bond, most of all, over our differences.

      Just because you’re not your partner’s “type” doesn’t mean he will find someone his type and leave you. Honest. Sometimes it’s with those who are completely beyond everything we ever expected to believe was “our type” that we find real, lasting, love.

      1. Y’see Mandi, there are a bunch of renegades out there like me and Liz.
        Maybe you’ve just heard from Chrysalis and me about this, but as many followers as you have, there are a lot more who don’t even know what WordPress is who could tell you the same thing.

        And Chrysalis, loved hearing your story:
        “He’s really into watching videos of stupid people doing stupid things….”
        My wife doesn’t watch the news either.
        However …
        “We bond over State of Origin – even though we go for opposite teams.”
        If that means California, the Dodgers and the Giants…?
        I’m gonna have to take sides.

      2. Hi. That does make sense; to me. I guess I have that worry that while I think its great that he is all kinds of things I never thought I’d be with, he won’t find that great at all. Much like how I love him so much, but can’t imagine that he could possibly love me as much.

        Good points. I will try to keep this stuff in mind.

  2. P. S.
    Before you have to pack for the trip, get a couple of two liter bottles of Mountain Dew. Leave them about 1/4 full. Bring along a bit of baking soda and a bottle of peroxide.
    Shortly after dark, add just a bit of the baking soda and three caps of the peroxide.
    Put on the lid, shake it up.
    Instant, massive glow-stick.
    Shows you’re trying.

      1. Make that a one liter bottle. Now that I think back to it, that was the size we used.
        Might to try it before you head out to make sure you get the mixture down to where you want it, how bright.
        And … there is a rumor something was taken out of the Mountain Dew that keeps it from plowing now.

        Where you guys heading?

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