I’ve been trying to do research on this. The only things I’ve come across say that borderlines don’t have or can’t show empathy. I, for one, couldn’t disagree more.
What say you?
To an extent, I can agree with not being able to show empathy. Not feeling it, however, I think is inaccurate. I know for myself, I think I feel too much empathy. When someone goes through something, I envision what happened to them and I feel like I can feel the emotions they must be feeling, and just like for myself, those emotions get so intense. All I know of emotions, are intense and overwhelming waves that overtake me mentally. I think I then overestimate how badly they are feeling, and that leaves things with yet another disconnect with transferring that empathy to the other person.
This is what I think makes it hard to show the empathy. The empathy that we feel becomes so intense that we get consumed and it becomes “about us”. Like anything else, if we could only learn to moderate it, we may do a better job.
On the flip side, because there’s always a flip side with BPD, I think at times when I am numb emotionally, I may know that I feel for someone, but I have no clue how to show them, and so I hold it in and the other person receives nothing from me. 😦
There’s some good contradictory information for you.
I’d like to hear other people’s thoughts or experiences with this. I haven’t found enough research to come to a clear understanding on this one yet. Can you tell I’m still trying to figure it out? 😛