Lurking…

I can feel it lurking I think. Like it’s creeping up on me. The only way I can think to describe it is like the person in the movies that is walking to their car at night. They sense danger and look around but see nothing. They walk faster toward their car and can hear and feel the threat nearing but still can’t see it and don’t know when it will strike.

It’s such an uneasy feeling. I’m hoping it’s just that I’m tired and am sick and cranky but I’m not so sure it’s that simple. I think BPD is going to get me again soon 😦 it’s scary and I hate it.

Does anyone else relate?

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One thought on “Lurking…

  1. I can easily understand. Even from the outside looking in.

    My wife used to get anxiety really badly when she was anticipating a panic attack. Almost sounds like a one-liner from Louis CK, but that’s the only way she could describe it.
    And there were… check that… there are indeed times she will tell me she can feel the Border getting closer.
    So, kid, tell me:
    is that an entirely bad thing?
    It’s a bad feeling, but a good thought.
    You recognize it, which is the first step in understanding it, which is the first step in really confronting it, which is the first step in making it back down a bit, which is the first step in managing it.

    Talked about it with Liz, and she remembers the change that made in her. A change for the better.

    So… I can sympathize with you and be proud of you all at the same time.
    Once again – it’s taken how long for you to get to this point?
    Ain’t gonna leave you alone overnight.

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