Anyone else out there have a significant amount of nightmares?
In general, there seems to be a widespread issue among borderlines in having sleep troubles. Whether that trouble is in getting to sleep, staying asleep, or having bad dream after bad dream. I know for myself, I experience all of the above. My brain feels like it never slows down enough to actually allow me to fall asleep. What’s even worse, is often times when I’m “asleep”, I don’t feel like I’m in a very deep sleep, but just enough to allow me to dream. This makes my dreams that much worse to experience, because I am in this partially awake state of mind. When I then completely wake up, in fear, the dream felt so real because I was partially awake. So much so, that I am then sometimes stuck in confusion and terror while I try to figure out if it really just happened, where I am, and if I’m safe.
The article in the link above talks about how studies have shown that borderlines do in fact experience more nightmares than those without BPD. The reasons definitely make sense. Borderlines tend to worry a lot throughout the day and have trouble controlling their negative emotions. These two things together seem to induce nightmares. Lucky us. We’re just a cute little mixed bag of all kinds of fun, aren’t we?
I’ve tried a variety of things to help myself avoid nightmares but nothing has ever really seemed to work. Since I was little, I remember having the worst most vivid nightmares consisting of things no child should even know could ever exist; even in one’s own imagination. I guess I’m sort of used to the almost constant waking up in fear, trying to catch my breath and clinging to a stuffed animal, but on the other hand, I’m tired, and I’m sure I’m one heck of a sleeping partner.
It’s really sad when you can’t even escape your mental illness in your sleep.