Game time! What makes you feel safe?



I’ve come to the conclusion that the need to feel safe is HUGE for a borderline. It probably is even at the very core of the illness. Do you agree?

I spend a lot of my time not feeling safe and figuring out how I can feel safe. When my boyfriend and I go out, I may be clingy. I like to be close to him. I like him to be touching me. If he goes to get a drink or something, I sit very anxiously until he comes back. I’m constantly scanning and observing my environment for threats of danger; mostly dangerous people. I even spend a lot of time thinking of awful things that could happen (I don’t feel like I do this intentionally, but rather that my mind is always on the lookout), and figuring out how I would handle it in case it ever would happen. In general, I think I find the world to be a very dangerous place.

So, let’s make a list and share ideas. What makes you feel safe?


-My panda bear

-Soft blankets

-Being held (only by certain people. I don’t like being touched by just anyone)

-Hot chocolate (possibly any warm drink)

-Scented candles (especially with scents like apple pie or warm spice or pastry smells)

-Chocolate or yummy desserts like warm cherry pie with vanilla ice cream..MMMMM!

-Bubble baths with LOTS of bubbles


-Laying surrounded by lots of pillows and blankets while watching Food Network

-Some music

-Kid movies


I’ll end it there. How about you?


5 thoughts on “Game time! What makes you feel safe?

      1. My wife, by her own admittance and by all available empirical indications, couldn’t boot up a computer with a gun at her head.
        It’s a shame, because she is so unabashedly and unashamedly open about her “Mental Illness” (which I put in quotation marks precisely because that is how she acknowledges it) and could be a true, pure inspiration to those who are starting on a path that is agonizingly familiar to her.
        Then there’s the matter of typing, which she can’t, but….

        … tell you what, and this is something I wouldn’t put out there to just anyone:
        I could ask her if she would consider a Skype visit with you should you ever need a voice or a face or a mind or a soul you could easily relate to.
        I’ve always thought she’d be a really cool “kooky ol’ flower-child auntie.”
        And she and I and you know sometimes it’s easier to swap horror stories with someone who has no connection to them.
        Especially when it doesn’t involve co-pays.

  1. – my teddies, or my boyfriend, or sometimes both

    – Food Network! (As long as it’s not Bitchin’ Kitchen, I can’t stand that show)

    – icecream

    – snugly baggy clothes, as long as no one sees me… (The supermarket doesn’t count as being seen)

    – my iPad games: Monument, Tengami, Zen Bound 2, Osmos HD.

    – arts and crafts.

    – cooking.

    – being safe in my boat

    – hot water bottles and onesies.

    – routines help.

    – makeup, especially if I’m going somewhere scary.

    – meditation music

    – some kid’s movies (that surfing penguin film is awesome!)

    1. Sometimes I feel like we are a lot of like. I LOVE Food Network and I hate that show too, btw. It’s the only show on that channel that makes me change the channel! Lol Thank you for the other ones, too! Onesies kick butt!!!

What say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s