I can’t believe I’ve never posted about this. Those with knowledge about BPD know that there is no medicinal “cure” for it. From what I’m told (by professionals), there are medications that can help to ease some of the symptoms of BPD, but none that actually help the diagnosis as a whole.
I, myself, have tried a number of different medications, to no avail. When I was 12, I was first diagnosed with depression. At that time they put me on Paxil, which helped. I took that for about a year and then weened off of it to try and keep doing well on my own. I think that lasted about as long as the medication was in my system.
In my early 20’s, I tried Paxil again only to find that not only did it not work for me anymore, but it made me feel like I was in a panic attack for a couple of hours after taking the very first dose. It was so bad, I debated calling an ambulance for myself because the feeling was terrifying.
After that, they tried putting me on Celexa. That was also bad news. It had the opposite effect. You know how they warn you that at times anti-depressants can make you feel worse to the point of feeling suicidal, etc. Well, that was me. I was emotionally numb and openly and verbally expressed not caring if I hurt anyone and was ready to kill myself. That is very much not me at all and so they took me off of that one right away. SSRI’s don’t seem to work well for me.
Next was Wellbutrin for depression, Buspar for anxiety, Klonopin for more severe episodes of anxiety and intense emotions, and Ambien for sleep. Ambien was great. I slept for a full 5 hours, no nightmares (at least none I could remember), no BPD episodes from about 15 minutes after I’d take it, and no zombie-ish feeling when I woke up. The downside was the memory issues and the weird crap I would say and do while on it. Buspar helped the panic attacks to stop but didn’t decrease my anxiety beyond that. Klonopin helped when things would get intense. I liked that one. The only downside is sometimes it would make me sleepy, but sleepy was way better than ‘raging out of control borderline’. Wellbutrin did absolutely nothing for me at all but steal my appetite and make me lose weight I didn’t have to spare. Oh, and then they added Abilify, but again, nothing.
Daily anxiety isn’t my main concern. It’s annoying, yes, but I don’t have panic attacks anymore unless I’m in some severe emotional dysregulation. It’s those severe moments of emotional dysregulation that are my biggest concern, and secondary is my rapidly changing moods/severe sensitivity.
I’ve done some reading and have read that Tegretol can be excellent for those moments. It is fast acting and can help to bring you back down. It’s used as needed (from what I’ve read in regards to treating for BPD), and can be very successful, sometimes with or without a partner medication (depending on the patient).
I’d like to have my Klonopin back, if not some sort of anti-psychotic or mood stabilizer, and maybe my Ambien which I really only care to use for the severely dysregulated times that I simply cannot sleep, which really only adds to the severity of my mental and emotional state. I don’t like medications that need taken on a daily basis and prefer the “as needed” type.
So does anyone take anything that they find really helps? Anything that really didn’t help? I know we are all different and will all respond differently to the same medications. I guess I’m looking to see if a particular “group” of medications tends to offer more benefit to BPD over the others.