invalidation Conspiracy

I have this recurring medical issue and a couple of times a year I have to go to the ER for immediate tests and pain relief.

I don’t go to the doctors easily. Especially not the ER. I always wonder if I’m really hurting or not ok enough to warrant a dr visit. The whole drive there I have anxiety. Worried that im.not hurt enough.

Well today I had to go. I got completely dismissed and treated like I was making it up. Unbelievable considering they have record of every previous time I’ve ever been there for this issue and their tests proved it and my dr voucher for it.

Today the dr on shift gave me no tests. He checked nothing.

I am parked in front of my home now. I cried all the way home and really just want to die. My whole life people dismiss me and invalidate me and brush me off. I am so confused and now I don’t know what I will do the next time it happens.

I am not ok right now. I feel like a kid again being completely pushed aside. Telling someone I’m in so much pain and them just looking at me and saying “no you’re not”. What?

I am so sad. I can’t stop crying.

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