Fuck money

I’m so stressed out right now. 😦

I really hate money. Every time it feels like I’ve finally got it, something happens and it’s a crazy struggle all over again. I feel like I try so hard in every area of my life, and nothing pays off. ESPECIALLY when it comes to finances. Most, if not all of it, is out of my control. No financial assistance from the people who are ‘supposed’ to be helping, and the older my kids get, the more expensive things are. Not to mention childcare; the financial rapist.

I stopped keeping tally on my account years ago, because every time I look at the numbers, it makes me half sick to my stomach and makes me instantly depressed and have to hold back tears.

I’m not sure what more I could be doing, other than things I shouldn’t be doing. And there’s nothing more sad in the entire world than when your kid brings you their piggy bank to try and “help”. I think that’s the only thing I fight with my daughter about; that I won’t accept her money.

I hate feeling this way. It starts off sad, and now I’m just angry. Angry because I can’t make it, haven’t made it, and am not making it. Angry because two douche-bag losers are out there, having no idea what it really takes to raise a child, but they don’t care. Angry because there’s nothing I can do. Angry because other people don’t have wonder or worry about how they’re going to make it. I’m just tired.

2 thoughts on “Fuck money

  1. I’m right there with you. I have never been able to manage money, which is a common symptom of BPD. I am 45 years old and had to call my mother for help purchasing a new pair of eye glasses. She agreed to send me the money only if I sent her a copy of the receipt. This is her new rule, I must provide receipts for all purchases made with her money.

    To think that less than a year ago I was working in the Financial Aid department of a private college handling hundreds of thousands of dollars on a daily basis. Now my mother is demanding receipts.

    1. I actually thankfully am very good with money. Thank God or I’d be much more worse off than I am. What’s hard for me is that I don’t make very much and I’ve got my two kids to care for. It often leaves necessities to become options because there’s just no other choice. I really don’t like that 😦

      I’m glad you have someone to help you, even though what you had described doesn’t feel well for you.

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