Well, he is at his destination. I’m really happy for him and the opportunity and ability he has to take such a great trip, and to do something he’s been wanting to do. It really is awesome. But I miss him 😦
It feels weird that he is so far away. It’s like something in me knows that he isn’t close and there’s this weird feeling of disconnect. Like love is only able to exist if we’re physically close together, and when we aren’t, it disappears.
I keep wondering what it’s going to be like to see him again. Will it be weird? I think it will be. I have this fear that he will fall out of love with me while he is away. Like he will feel relief at not having me as a nearby burden, or that he will just forget me. I want him to come back so fast, but at the same time I’m not ready for it. I’m not sure how I will be, how I will feel, or what to do. I wonder what “normal” people feel when they’re separated from someone they love, and how they feel when they get to see them again.
I think if God would let me be normal for just one day, I’d be fine. If I knew what it was like to process things in a normal way, I could just copy it inside until it became natural.