I think I’m going to cry tonight. It’s such a weird feeling to know where you are but to feel so entirely lost. I described it like this to T. You know when you’re little and you’re out with mom at the mall or something and suddenly you realize mom isn’t there and you look around but don’t see her. That’s the feeling I get sometimes. Like I’m just this lost little girl.
I was excited earlier to come to bed. I am very tired. Now I’m here and i don’t want to be. I keep seeing my room as a kid. I feel like I’m there. Alone. I was alone a lot.
I don’t feel good and I really want to shut the world out because I need something but I don’t know what and nothing is helping.
I don’t even know where all of this is coming from!!!!!! Hello anger.