I love it when…

non-borderlines talk about borderlines like they know what the fuck they’re talking about. In case she reads this, Mom of a BPD son, this is not directed at you. I, against my knowing better, clicked on your link and read some of the feedback from others, and just like always when I look at that site, it just enrages me.

I can’t stand how people talk about borderlines like we are just these “things”. They know enough to babble about how emotional we are, but heaven forbid they have any sensitivity to not talk about us using the language and choice words they do. And for Christ’s sake, how about they know what the hell they’re talking about first. To them, we are just erratic, unloving, crazy people who have no real ability to care for or love others, and no worry about other’s emotions. This could not be further from the truth.

As a borderline…or should I say, as an overly sensitive erratic unloving person, I happen to care TOO MUCH about how other people feel. I am constantly worried that anything I do will cause a negative emotion in someone I care about. For starters, if anyone in this whole fucking world knows what it’s like to hurt, it’s a borderline. I would never want anyone else to feel an ounce of what I do 24/7, let alone to be the cause of it. Secondly, I worry my ass off that if I caused it, that person will surely leave me. And what is a borderline’s biggest fear? ABANDONMENT.

That information is full of shit and that website is swimming with people acting like the very words they label us with. We aren’t fucking “things” to be labeled and dismissed and written off as erratic, and all of the other shit in there. I’m sure as hell too, that if any of them read this post, they’d sit back with their little mental clipboards and note how this is a prime example of borderline rage. Apparently normal people don’t get pissed off, ever, and especially not when they’re being treated or talked about in a completely inaccurate and unfair way.

Way to feed the stigma, bpdfamily.com

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5 thoughts on “I love it when…

  1. ~Mandi~
    It bugs the hell out of me as well. It also pisses the hell out of me how the media portrays people who have Borderline. What people and the media don’t realize is that Borderlines and Recovered Borderlines are some of the most caring and vulnerable people out there. Plus the media portrays Borderline like you cant recover from it. Borderline is one of the very few mental health diagnoses that you can no longer meet the criteria for. I know this because I am a recovered borderline. Wish people would try to understand what it like to have borderline. They don’t walk in our shoes.

  2. Keeping in mind that I spent a good portion of fifteen years hunting down people who were doing their best to evade and avoid paying Child Support, there are a few tricks I’ve learned.

    For instance, http://www.bpdfamily.com:
    Admin Name: BONNIE SOBCZAK
    Admin Organization: BPDFAMILY.COM
    Admin Street: 550 RIDGE ROAD
    Admin City: CHESTERVILLE
    Admin State/Province: MAINE
    Admin Postal Code: 04938
    Admin Country: US
    Admin Phone: +1.2078976382
    Admin Email: DOMAINS@BPDFAMILY.COM

    Just in case you’d like to send them a fan letter, this is the lady to send it to.
    In the few minutes I was actually able to absorb some of the bile in the message boards, it dawned upon me that most of the “experts” fielding the questions were nowhere near professionals in the field, and their responses were usually something along the lines of “Oh yeah, you thing THAT’S bad….”

    it seems to be an advocacy site of sorts for non-BPD and will have a bent towards telling them what they already think they know or affirming what they feel. Those people go there for comfort, much as BPDs look to you for empathy and encouragement.
    The NRA will give you a laundry list of why the Second Amendment guarantees you the right to own assault rifles and 100-round mags of Teflon-coated, armor-piercing bullets and grenade launchers.
    This website seems to be aimed at people who would do their BPD loved one a favor by either getting on board or jumping in front of the train.
    How’s that for splitting?

    1. You are awesome and you may have just put me (or them) in a dangerous position if I do experience real borderline rage against them 🙂

      1. I think they could really benefit by having an actual BPD professional or three or five moderating some of the bulleting boards, otherwise they’re just preaching to a very dispassionate choir.
        I still want to check out some of articles they have, see if they’re also one-sided.
        But nothing will ever talk me out of loving you crazy things.

        P.S Check your e-mail.

  3. You said this PERFECTLY, thank you. I am stunned by some of the articles and websites and blog posts I come across. I always want to say something and comment about how they don’t understand, but I don’t want to be negative towards other people (I always think I will come across as one of the “crazy” people) – and I don’t want to be a target for people that don’t understand bpd. Thank you so much for writing this post. It gives me some hope.

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