Well, I started moving things over this evening. I have to say I am really nervous about this move. I’m not entirely sure why. I think it’s because it’s like another step up, and that makes me afraid. Afraid of failure I think. I’ve been working toward this very move for awhile. It was my goal to get this place by August of this year, and here I am. I’m proud of myself in that respect, but wow I am nervous. What if I don’t make it? What if I CAN”T make it? What if it all falls apart and I just…fail. I just feel like I’m taking on a bit more of life and it’s just scary.
On a more positive note, I am a little excited. I enjoy setting up home. I’m excited to decorate. I LOVE decorating. I need a couple of things that I don’t really have the money for, but I’ve gotta make it work. I will figure it out.
On a whole other topic…my boyfriend is home. 😀 **big cheesy smiles** 😀 He drove to my job from the airport and got there right around the time he usually comes to get me. It was perfect. We went and got frappes like we usually do. My brain and my emotions were racing and going absolutely crazy. I just wanted to close my eyes and hold onto him so tightly and not let go until my insides calmed down. I didn’t know whether to be thrilled or afraid or expressive about missing him or emotionally restrained and so all of that just mixed together and I was really just a nervous wreck inside and I guess sort of on the outside too. I couldn’t stop shaking.
I still feel better that he is home. Feels like I’ve got some normalcy back, and now I’m moving homes. Goodbye normalcy! I plan on being done with this change by the end of the weekend so I can start getting back some structure and consistency. I need that.
Anyway, I also want to thank you for the comments yesterday when I was a mess. I REALLY appreciated them. I needed to hear that stuff and it did help so thank you.