The Wait

I meant to submit that “Today will be productive” post earlier this morning but there was apparently an error. Regardless, I just called to schedule with the EMDR therapist. Of course she didn’t answer and so I had to leave a message. My anxiety is going crazy. I’m shaking so badly. I guess I’m focusing on how scary I think it is and will be. T said it is scary, but I guess I’m focusing on the “what ifs” which isn’t being mindful. So I need to work on that.

Ugh I hate waiting!

Anyway, I think I found some other therapist options as well, but I’m not ready to call them too. I think I may wait until I see T again on Sept 6 and talk to her about it. Or maybe that’s my way of putting it off. Why am I so nervous? I remember being turned down by a therapist once because she didn’t want to work with a BPD patient. That hurt. I guess I fear rejection. I don’t know. And they always ask so many questions and I just get so nervous.

Mindfulness. Mindfulness. Mindfulness.

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One thought on “The Wait

  1. The what ifs can torment you so, allow some time to address them, write out a list of them, then beside each one, rate the likelihood of that happening, if so how you could deal with it. Then use mindfulness to remove them from your thoughts, perhaps then it will be easier.

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