In the black

And now I feel the need to rant. I’m sure I’m in “black” mode of the whole black and white thinking shit but oh well. I don’t think therapy is working. Not the way that it is anyway. Not this once every 4-5 weeks nonsense. I just can’t do it and I think maybe I’m wasting time and money thinking that this could work. There’s a reason DBT was intended a few times a week, and I can see that now I think, but WTF else am I to do? I don’t have the god damn money to see her more than what I am. I hate meeting new therapists but I think I may have found some that offer DBT and also take my insurance.

And here’s a fucking thought, why does my therapist not see me through the practice she works through? The one that takes insurance? Why are we going through her private practice? I know that’s how I found her but why did she not refer me to the other place so I could use insurance? I don’t get it. Does she just want money?

I’M SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like pure shit. I wish I had no ties. It’d be so much easier to call it quits.


3 thoughts on “In the black

  1. That’s sounds so strange that your therapist doesn’t facilitate you seeing her through insurance when it seems possible! Not surprised that makes you angry, it would me too. x

    1. I never thought of it until the EMDR therapist asked me why my therapist doesn’t just take me through the other place. Now I can’t get it out of my head. I felt like an idiot when she asked. I guess I assumed there was a reason and never thought about it, and now it’s all I can think about.

  2. A doctor / psychiatrist / therapist these days (post-Affordable Care Act) has a lot less questions to answer, can be a lot less accountable on their own than going through the insurance companies.
    Could be a financial decision on her part to bypass the insurance rules and requirements. On a personal basis, how could it possibly benefit her to do it the way she is?
    I could see it being about Money rather than about Mandi, but if it’s the same payment for you either way… so what?
    “… once every 4-5 weeks….”
    That’s bullshit.
    That can be dangerous.
    Unfortunately, it seems to be the norm.

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