Klonopin

I want my klonopin back. It was the first and only medicine I’ve ever had (excluding Ambien for sleep), that I ever felt really helped and wasn’t habit forming. I loved most of all that I could take it when I needed it and wasn’t required to take it daily. I suck at daily medications and I never want another one of those. I only need something that I can take when I need it. When the moment hits. Something to take the edge off so I can use my skills to get through it.

Klonopin did that. It was great. I hardly really took it. Only when I had really bad anxiety over something or when I felt an episode coming on. It didn’t cure it or make it go away, but it did slow me down so I could work through things better. When an episode is coming, everything inside me is racing, so that step on the brake was helpful.

I wish I had that. I think if/when I find a therapist again, I’m going to ask. I always worry about asking for medication. I’m worried they will think I’m just some med-head trying to fake needing therapy to get prescriptions. So I tend to never bring it up so they don’t think that, but the truth is, I need some. I’d like to have my ambien back. I don’t even want to take it daily. I only want it for when I am having trouble sleeping for a few nights and am getting backed up on sleep. I can take it one night just to sort of get me through with some solid sleep. Like now.

Ambien and Klonopin. If I had to pick, I just want my Klonopin back đŸ˜¦

Sigh.

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4 thoughts on “Klonopin

  1. Klonopin.
    Ol’ family friend.
    Me – for the overwhelming anxiety that breaks out of its cage every know and then to tear the place apart.
    Ambien – also know it well, but for me the Klonopin settles my mind enough that the Ambien (“make sure you have a full eight hours to sleep”) gets me at least four hours of uninterrupted sleep. At least uninterrupted by me.

    Liz, BPD –
    Klonopin, Effexor…
    and Trileptal, Geodon (nasty side effects, but she also lost 85 pounds in six months, which they had told her to do because of her back and because Kaiser ALWAYS tells people to lose weight), then when the shakes from the Geodon got wildly out of hand, they switched her to Zyprexa.
    Mood stablizers.
    Ever had any of them prescribed?

    1. I’ve never had any of those prescribed. I’ve only ever been prescribed anti anxiety and anti depression meds. Anti depression meds really don’t help me at all but then again I’ve never had a dr that was experienced with treating BPD so I think that’s where a lot of my lack of progress with therapy has come from in the past.

  2. I feared being labeled as drug seeking when I first started therapy as well. I am an opiate addict, and my medical records are labeled as such. I was certain that any request for a change in medication would be denied based on my addiction. What actually happened is my therapy team diagnosed me as far more mentally ill than I was willing to admit to. They ended up prescribing far more than what I had asked for.

  3. Liz despised having to ask for pyschotropic drugs.
    Of course, by that time she was already popping Sudafeds like breath mints because of her allergies, Prilosec for her tender stomach and my tendency to cook with a bunch of spices, and Extra Strenth Tylenol et al for her migraines.
    What’s the big deal with something to ease the symptoms of, say, depression and / or anxiety and / or (after someone figured it out) BPD.
    Anti-this, anti-that… cool. Does it’s job, but BPD is kind of like Depression and Anxiety taking their own street drugs, be it meth or steroids.
    Her experience, and what I’ve seen of them, says the mood stabilizers were the most effective for the BPD. Helped ease the symptoms of her White / Yellow / Blue / Green / Blue / Red Belt levels of those two, but the Black Belt strength of the BPD took a little more muscle.
    Trigger warning: switching Metaphors.
    Zero-to-psychobitch in 2.7 seconds.
    The Trileptal pretty much put a Cruise Control on the BPD in a few different ways:
    it helped to keep her under enough control to see the moods coming, to smooth out the increased intensity a bit more:
    Liz actually swallowed about fifty Xanax one time because our cat Tigger appeared to have an eye infection. Hardly life-threatening, but enough to push her over the edge. That was before the mood STABILIZERS. Up until then, she was taking the Effexor for the Depression, and Xanax for Anxiety.
    My doctor took me off Xanax because it is into and out of your system more quickly, more appropriate (he felt) for Panic Attacks, NOT chronic anxiety. Put me on Klonopin.
    With that in mind, Liz’s doctor made the same change to her.

    The biggest disruption, the most potentially destructive behavior of BPD – correct me if I’m wrong – is its roller coaster demeanor. The Geodon helped amazingly, and while it is supposed to cause weight gain, Liz lost pushing towards 100 pounds over a year – which she should have done anyway, but Snickerdoodle cakes are more addictive than even Xanax for some.
    That, along with the involuntary muscular movements and spasms and leg-shaking ticks, tell me her metabolism was affected. She wore entirely through four pairs of $130.00/pair sandals, the same brand I’ve worn for seven years and they still look relatively new.
    Tripelptal (works on different part of brain the Geodon) also worked well.
    Because of Liz’s back and hips being tortured by those ticks and spasms (can no longer make it down the hallway from our bedroom without her walker), doctor stopped the Geodon, went with Zyprexa.
    Things are working out better.

    Mandi dearest, you’re right.
    There are not enough doctors or therapists who are entirely familiar with BPD to know all the tools / weapons at their disposal. The symptoms and their intensity can be treated as easily as heartburn or seasonal allergies with the proper medications.
    The root of the problem – that’s where the therapy comes in. It’s like cleaning out all the cat dander from our bedroom and staying the fuck away from anything I cook with Cajun spices.
    Unfortunately there is the second stigma of needing meds, the third of needing a psychotherapist.
    Of course, you can keep sneezing in your soup, and the person next to you’s soup, and that’s okay.
    You can keep belching toxic fumes and farting flames, and people will still let their children play with yours.

    T-girl, there are meds out there that have less of an addictive nature than others. I was an alcoholic, smoked weed, did some acid and ‘shrooms and even smoked opium back in the 70s, but when I needed Ritalin – the red-headed stepchild of the Meth family – there were no second thoughts about giving it to me or addiction problems. It even had the opposite effect on me as it would, say, Chris Brown: it mellowed me out.

    Sorry my sweet sisters, but there was no short, simple reply.
    There never is with me, and they have yet to find a medication for that, but while it takes a village to make a child (and sometimes some really off-center parents), it takes a team of professionals to treat BPD.
    Leave out one team member, the rest can’t always cover the hole on the field.

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