So I started writing a post. I wrote, deleted, wrote again, deleted again. I couldn’t pinpoint what was going on in my head or where I really was with things. The more I wrote and deleted, the closer I got, and I finally found me in the moment.
I’m feeling little. I’m definitely in that “little girl/frightened little girl” mode. I’m not entirely sure why and I don’t think I really care to figure it out to be honest. I just know this is where I am right now.
I don’t particularly like her. She’s needy. Too needy. This leaves her way too wide open for hurt because she’s so super sensitive and vulnerable. So, usually I think I just hate her, which probably makes her worse. So I’m going to try to just sit with it, and let myself be her.
I know she craves nurture. She just wants and needs to be taken care of for what she is. That hardly ever really happens because no one gets it. She gets so hurt when she doesn’t get it, and then the raging bitch hides her away in a closet, and takes over.
I’m going to try so hard to let it be what it is, stay calm, and treat her the best I can.