And then I found her

So I started writing a post. I wrote, deleted, wrote again, deleted again. I couldn’t pinpoint what was going on in my head or where I really was with things. The more I wrote and deleted, the closer I got, and I finally found me in the moment.

I’m feeling little. I’m definitely in that “little girl/frightened little girl” mode. I’m not entirely sure why and I don’t think I really care to figure it out to be honest. I just know this is where I am right now.

I don’t particularly like her. She’s needy. Too needy. This leaves her way too wide open for hurt because she’s so super sensitive and vulnerable. So, usually I think I just hate her, which probably makes her worse. So I’m going to try to just sit with it, and let myself be her.

I know she craves nurture. She just wants and needs to be taken care of for what she is. That hardly ever really happens because no one gets it. She gets so hurt when she doesn’t get it, and then the raging bitch hides her away in a closet, and takes over.

I’m going to try so hard to let it be what it is, stay calm, and treat her the best I can.

Advertisements

One thought on “And then I found her

  1. Ice cold milk and Oreo cookies.
    Let her relax, get as comfortable as she can. She wants to talk, she will.
    Listen to her. You can do the nurturing.
    That could help both of you.
    Just be ready to get her someplace safe when the bitch shows up.

What say you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s