Making Friends

So, I’m on a new path of making friends. My boyfriend and I were talking about it the other day. I feel so silly and immature, but it just is where I am with things.

Just as new as it is to me to be making friends, there’s something else very new about this. My boyfriend is really encouraging about it, and I guess in some ways he was sort of helping me along with what to day/say to some potential friendships at work that I sort of had been not responding to.

No one I’ve ever been with has ever been encouraging about my having friends. In fact, it often got me into a lot of trouble. It was hard enough for me to have friends, and then they’d scold me and team up with my BPD to keep me away from other people so I’d just be at home all of the time. It only intensified my fear of anything and anyone outside of the walls I lived in. Not like it was really safe in there either.

But here my boyfriend is, giving me advice and telling me how to “make friends”, and cheering me on at my successes. Again, I feel so silly that I even need someone to help me do something that seems to come so natural to most people, but it feels really good that he’s being so encouraging and supportive and helpful.

I’m not sure how I feel about making friends. A small part of me dreads it because I just worry I won’t be able to handle it or that they won’t like me, but there is a part of me that’s a little excited 🙂 Friends…friends…my friend…it’s just weird. I usually just say things like, “This girl at work”, Or, “Some guy/girl I know”.

I hope I can do it.

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2 thoughts on “Making Friends

  1. “Friend” has taken on whole new connotations these days.
    Thank you Facebook.
    I worked in the same office for fifteen years, came out of the place with four genuine friends, one of who has since passed away. I was friendly with quite a number of people, grew close to some of them within the confines of a workplace environment, and actually bonded with a few with whom I shared – shall we say – idiosyncrasies.
    Most of the people I dealt with were beyond “acquaintances” or merely co-workers, but in the classic sense of the word “friend”, can’t say either one of us made the cut.
    It was never that we didn’t like each other, couldn’t get along, all that stuff that would doom an actual friendship. It was just that there was nothing outside of the workplace that drew us to each other. I don’t have any problem referring to them as
    Maybe I’m splitting too many hairs. I tend to be somewhat of a loner by nature, hardly a social butterfly. But after working with some of those folks for as long as fifteen years, there were only those few with whom I made a close connection. Three guys in particular.
    I actually consider myself pretty lucky in that respect.
    The rest of the crew? They all became a valuable part of my life. I was better off for having come to know virtually all of them. I guess you could say they were “work friends”, and there was nothing wrong with that at all. I hope I served that role in their lives too.
    As you start to loosen up around people, you’ll find some that you eventually might feel comfortable opening up with. Hopefully you can start trusting in them. You’ll know who they are, sometimes sooner after meeting them than you would expect.
    But it’s always nice to have as many of them around as possible to whatever degree.

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