Time Unwell Spent

I’m bored. It’s 4:06am and I’m still awake. If it weren’t for the kids, I’d probably go out and get my grocery shopping done so I don’t have to do it later today, and I need to get a new lamp for my son’s room. I could do that now but I can’t leave them here, and I’m surely not waking them up.

I think I’ve decided on a clothing style. I think. But what do I know. I also think I need to change my shopping method. You may be surprised to hear it, but I’m a very all or nothing kind of person (haha). I need so many things that I tend to think that I need to get them all at one time, and if I can’t, then I pretty much just get really enraged and say “Fuck you! Fuck it all!” and I refuse to get anything at all. I should probably just get one or two things at a time, and slowly build up my closet. Maybe that would be a good middle ground? I really suck at those gray areas. Then comes the other hard part though…what one or two things do I get each time? Oh man. Why’s it gotta be so hard 😦 I wish I could take my boyfriend everywhere and he could just tell me what to do, what to get, what to wear. It’d be so much easier.

So yea. 4:11am now, and I’ve been spending the last 6 or so hours trying to figure myself out enough to be able to shop for myself. And I’m still not near confident in what I’ve come up with.

I’m going to get a snack. I should try and sleep at least a little I guess. My boyfriend is coming over at 9:30am to teach me how to do this thing for his business. I’m really excited. He does so much for me and I feel like I do nothing. I like that I’ll be able to do something for him for a chance.

I’m bored. Snack time…no idea what I will do the rest of the night. Blah.

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