The Workplace is no place

Ok. So this morning was really bad. I all but had a bad episode at work. I held it in and was mostly like a steaming hot whistling kettle of rapidly boiling water, holding it all in but going crazy and tearing at the seams, but I got through it without harming myself or damaging any relationships, etc. I didn’t break anything either.

My boyfriend helped me to come up with a plan of action with this whole mess. I’ve found a new family doctor but I’m not going to pursue that until after this initial medication appointment with my current doctor. After some aggravation, my med appointment is now on October 10th. After that, I am going to switch family doctors. I got some recommendations and read reviews online so I feel good about it; considering they are taking new patients. I’m also going to look for a new therapist in the meantime. I’m wondering if I don’t even wait a little, just get some medication started and then wait a little, because it is open enrollment time coming up again for insurance, and what if my insurance changes? That’s a whole other issue. Anyway. So for right now all I know is my med appointment is next week, and I’m going to be on the search again for a new therapist. I’m just going to try again.

This morning. Wow this morning. Work is not a place I want to have an episode. I was crying in the bathroom. I couldn’t hold it in. I had to let out just enough to maintain some kind of composure, but not too much that would expose my crazy 😦

It was hard. I sat at my desk, hardly able to breathe, trying to keep the oncoming tears from breaking through. Then just like that…it went away. Thank God. The rest of my day went well. I got a lot done at work. I’m working on some projects alongside my regular tasks. I almost killed the guy who sits next to me because he drives me insane, but almost means I didn’t so we are good there. It was a good day. We are growing and  the workload is increasing. It’s awesome. I am so excited. I have a big task tomorrow. I’m feeling more and more confident with my abilities in my position. I had a really good call today and I think I sounded confident and smooth in how I was directing the call. It was my best call yet I think.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m not feeling well today, physically. My stomach doesn’t feel good and its been getting worse all day. I think I should go to bed early and try and rest.


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