Scared of the Good

So I looked for more therapists again last night. Oddly enough, I found one that I’ve looked at NUMEROUS times during my searches and have always disregarded because there were a few things in his write up that made me not a match for him as a client.

Well, I saw this listing and was really confused because…it’s him, same picture, but now my insurance is listed and he all of these other things that didn’t fit before…are now ok? I’m very confused but anyway I emailed him. I forgot about it and just now I got home from work and checked my email and saw he replied. He said a big fat yes to all of my questions.

I mean, I should be excited and happy, right? I am I guess. Or maybe for a split second I was, and then I remembered a time not too long ago that I got excited and happy and that was shut down by the admittance of lies 😦 So…great. Now I have worse trust issues than I did before when it comes to therapists. I feel like I need to interrogate the man in our first session…or maybe just for a long time, to make sure that he was really serious and telling the truth and I won’t find out a little down the line that he was lying and really isn’t suited to help me.

I’m not me today. I’m not sure where I am. I’m somewhere. I know I’m hurting. I’m just waiting for it to leave me alone so I can be me again. Unfortunately it’s too late to fight this one…its just a waiting game. I’m not sure what to do.


One thought on “Scared of the Good

  1. Hey kid.
    Looking on- line for anything more complicated than a four-slice toaster can be daunting.

    Here’s a link that will eventually lead you to the governing boards of all sorts of different professionals in whatever state it is you live in. Some of the sites they’ll take you to are no more than a Rolodex of people who passed a given test, some will give you more insight. Many will let you know if anyone has had any complaints or grievances filed against them.
    Like anything else on the ‘net, the information can be handy as a reference point not as The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But.
    First impressions, of course, will tell you a lot. A trick I used to use when I was making the rounds of job interviews was looking at the pictures on somebody’s wall, the trinkets on their shelves. A landscape of the Colorado Rockies tells you one thing if it’s of a bunch of skiers on the slopes of Vail or Aspen, something entirely different if it’s a nursing bison.
    And ask him what his favorite movie is. And why.And make them answer. If it’s any one of the “Ernest” or Freddy Kreuger movies, proceed with caution. If he says “any of the old classics with Linda Lovelace” or Kim Kardashian’s home movies…
    run like hell. Don’t stop till you have your arms wrapped around your kids, your boyfriend or Panda.
    Even things like where they went to school can tell you a lot. A big school like UCLA or NYU cranks out God knows how many PhD’s every year, and a well-established smaller university in the mid-west just might have a more down-to-earth outlook they pass on to their graduates.
    It’s the little things that tell us more than any one big thing ever could.
    And forget about that last asshole.
    And don’t be afraid to take your time.

    All us guys can write our names in the snow, but the inescapable similarities end there.

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