So I looked for more therapists again last night. Oddly enough, I found one that I’ve looked at NUMEROUS times during my searches and have always disregarded because there were a few things in his write up that made me not a match for him as a client.
Well, I saw this listing and was really confused because…it’s him, same picture, but now my insurance is listed and he all of these other things that didn’t fit before…are now ok? I’m very confused but anyway I emailed him. I forgot about it and just now I got home from work and checked my email and saw he replied. He said a big fat yes to all of my questions.
I mean, I should be excited and happy, right? I am I guess. Or maybe for a split second I was, and then I remembered a time not too long ago that I got excited and happy and that was shut down by the admittance of lies 😦 So…great. Now I have worse trust issues than I did before when it comes to therapists. I feel like I need to interrogate the man in our first session…or maybe just for a long time, to make sure that he was really serious and telling the truth and I won’t find out a little down the line that he was lying and really isn’t suited to help me.
I’m not me today. I’m not sure where I am. I’m somewhere. I know I’m hurting. I’m just waiting for it to leave me alone so I can be me again. Unfortunately it’s too late to fight this one…its just a waiting game. I’m not sure what to do.