First day of Therapy

I saw the new therapist today. First session. It was awesome! He’s different than the others, but I put him up there with my recent DBT therapist. He is very knowledgeable and also works with neurological testing, etc. His range of education is really awesome because he can tie in the symptoms with what is actually happening in the brain, etc. I told him about my therapist that lied to me, and he couldn’t believe it. He was really confident also in his ability to help, and he also expressed that his therapeutic approach is one of “doing”. He doesn’t just sit once a week in his office and talk with his patients, he will have assignments and we will work together for me to learn and do things that will help me to get better. I really walked out of there feeling like I have a shot. He also told me to keep my medication appointment and he will be happy to work with my doctor and even make recommendations for medication, no problem.  I know this is good.

On another not as positive note, I’m not doing well. The last couple of days have been up and down. Up and down mainly because it’s intense inside me, but I’m trying really hard to fight back, and sometimes it feels like I may be fighting it off, but then I’m triggered again and it starts all over 😦 I’m very tired. I’m still fighting. I think all I can really do is to fight not acting out on what’s going on inside. It’s really hard. I’m trying at least to keep enough sanity so it doesn’t take me so low that I’m bawling, panicking, and contemplating suicide.

I’m trying.

2 thoughts on “First day of Therapy

  1. I’m glad you like your new therapist. It’s important that you “click” with your therapist. Therapy works so much better that way. It sounds like he’s a great therapist. I’m sure you’ll find the assignments he gives you very helpful. I can’t wait to hear how that goes.

  2. Read this twice, and it made me feel even better the second time around.
    You know how sometimes people will tell you “hang in there!!!” like it was actually the solution?
    Never is. Never has been and never will be, but it helps buy you some time while all the other pieces in the puzzle find their places.
    And it has never meant that you’re not making progress. It’s an integral, necessary part of the process.
    “I’m trying really hard to fight back, and sometimes it feels like I may be fighting it off,”
    Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes –
    at least you don’t get the shit kicked out of you.
    It’s great to hear you talking like this.

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