Follows and Finances

First I want to set a disclaimer that I’ve been very angry lately and short-fused.

Second I’d like to update that I just got my meds back for only $5. Way to go.

Now I’d like to comment about how I seem to get followed, then unfollowed, and then people re-follow. That really boggles my mind and slightly pisses me off. I may lose a few followers to this, but seriously. What’s the deal with that? Follow or don’t, but don’t play fucking follow-games. It’s like being friended and then unfriended on Facebook and it fucks with my emotions. Stay or leave, but don’t go back and forth with me.

Other than the above, I’m tired. All around tired. I’m tired of working. In a general sense. We work our lives away, what’s up with that? I’m tired of being in need. I feel like giving everyone the finger and just quitting it all and figuring it all out later.

For now, I’m just giving the finger.


4 thoughts on “Follows and Finances

  1. Feels good to do that every so often. And when your feelings are basically running the show, it feels even better.

    Our daughter finally realized how tired she felt. Had to take a Medical Leave from work, rarely leaving her house, scared half to death to go anywhere (as in ANYwhere), and has been holed up in the hills for over a month.
    And – at the tender age of thirty-seven – got an official diagnosis of BiPolar II.
    Stop all the old meds, start the new ones, weekly visits with the therapist …
    … and it being Christmas season and all, her retail manager hubby can’t take time off to be with her. Sure, he can do FMLA, but that just gives Game Stop a reason to find some other justification for giving him shit.
    So I’ve been going up there three, sometimes four days a week to spend time with her. Not good for her to be alone, not good for her to be cruisin’ through the canyons with nowhere to go. Her usual hang-outs are all snowed in.
    But now she knows what Liz has been going through for years, what I’ve dabbled in for decades.
    As a rule, I play fairly well with other children, but too many of them at one time are just too much to handle.
    It’s an hour each way to go up there, but it’s worth the time with our baby girl. And I love the ride.
    And I get to head at least a sneeze or two into the Sierras.
    And her Dobie loves our Boxer pup.
    It’s just hard to see her the way she’s been feeling. She’s trying for disability, because she just can’t go back into the work environment right now. Or anytime soon.
    But she needs the time. And the company. Even if that means sitting through one of her mid-day naps.

    And it’s very natural to feel – what was that again? – angry and short-fused when things are looking up. Someone starts to feel better (relative term, of course), almost somewhat fairly kind of respectable, and even the slightest little thing comes up and it comes close to knocking them back a few steps.
    It’s like when you’ve gone through a cold spell. Bleak, grey days with snow coming in sideways, tree branches littering the ground as far as the eye can see, and you wake up one morning and there’s nothing but sun out there.
    You stick your foot out the door, and Holy Mary Mother of God… it’s, like, three degrees BEFORE the wind chill factors in and you’re right back under the covers.

    And then there was the 29th.
    ’nuff said there.

    And just for the record, a while back (months ago) I was putting my Favorite Blogs list in a preferential order and couldn’t find yours in my list. Hadn’t taken it off, but it just wasn’t there. Anywhere there. Anywhere at all.
    Put it back on there, which got it to the top of my list, which is where I wanted to put it anyway.

    Let this serve as a disclaimer that I don’t care as much or think of you as much,
    It’s just…
    You know more about those than most people do.


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