On the Edge

I’ve been super anxious lately. I think with the high stress I’ve been under with my father passing away, things have been a lot harder. My anxiety has been worse, my sadness and slight thoughts of suicide have been coming back, and I had a mini episode the other night with my boyfriend.

I’m hoping it’s not that the meds aren’t working or that I simply am not any better. I’m hoping that it’s just the high levels of stress. I know that’s normal with BPD for symptoms get flare when under stress. Not to mention I’ve had my period through this whole thing.

Also, my boyfriend was away last weekend and is going away this weekend too so that’s been really hard. I’m really on edge about that just him leaving. I feel like I need him right here next to me just holding me for days until all of these feelings and anxieties and stresses go away. He’s my only safe place. When he goes…it doesn’t feel good. Especially when I’m already not feeling well.

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One thought on “On the Edge

  1. Even the most wildly disconnected of us are entitled to those days, those times.
    Sometimes it really is the illness, the beast, the demon …
    and sometimes it’s just a head full of bad hair.
    It’s quite alright to put your Dad’s hat on and let yourself slide.

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