Does “Permanency” exist?

Permanency. When you think of the word permanent you might think of tattoos, or some sort of surgical procedure that can’t be reversed. A decision that you can’t take back.

But is anything ‘really’ permanent?

I’ve come to find that nothing is permanent. Especially people. Love. Relationships. Not permanent. Vows mean nothing. People can go in the blink of an eye. One day here, the next day gone, and you never know when it will happen. It doesn’t matter how much or how hard you love someone or they love you, things are meant to end at some point in time. Whether it’s by death, or a choice someone makes or is forced to make. People are meant to go away. Love is temporary as are the relationships that love is a part of. Everything is temporary. Yea, some things last longer than others, but still, it is all only for a period of time. A season.

Permanency. There is no such thing.


4 thoughts on “Does “Permanency” exist?

  1. Oh, one more scripture while I’m ‘preachin’ … “Love is patient. Love is always kind. Love doesn’t boast or make a show of pride. Love is not selfish or resentful. It never takes delight in another man’s sin. When all else fails…LOVE ENDURES; always ready to hope, to trust. In short, the greatest gift of all…is LOVE.

  2. Well, my BPD wife of almost forty years and her Major Depressive / Severely Anxious husband are forced to disagree with the totality of that thought. She’s had a history of behaviors associated with BPD going back almost fifty years. I’ve been treated actively for Depression over lengths of time for fifty years.
    Still with each other, still supportive of one another, more in love as time goes on.
    Of course, her parents were together for over fifty years, and Mama was just bat-shit crazy and abusive, Daddy was a bad drunk until the fortieth year. My folks easily would have made it to fifty years if my Mom hadn’t passed away at a relatively early age. Our daughter is thirty-seven, has been with her boyfriend/husband for nineteen years; our thirty-five-year-old son with his girlfriend / wife for the same nineteen years.
    For both of them, it was their first true love. Actually, their first boy/girlfriend.
    We are a seriously under-populated segment of society, but we’re not extinct.
    For many years I made a living off of broken relationships. I enforced Child Support orders for the Superior Court of the State of California. I know for really, really sure Mommy and Daddy don’t always live together happily ever after.
    I had one client with seven kids from five fathers out of her seven failed relationships. While our office was not designed nor funded for counselling or emotional support, we had some serious hand-holding we had to do every now and then, and there were times I would even take a break to have a client join me on a short walk so I could say things that I just plain wasn’t supposed to say on the time clock. Things that really needed to be said.
    This poor woman with the seven kids: I heard many of the stories, lots of the histories, and it all came down to how none of them always worked out because of…
    … this, that and whatever.
    I finally had to ask her what the one thing in common was among all those relationships.
    You don’t know the lady I’m talking about, much less the seven dick-heads she was talking about, but you know the answer to that question.
    This lady never faced the fact that, well, it just might have “been her”, not that it ever is “only” one of the couple who undermines the hopes and dreams.
    You, precious child, are smart enough, introspective enough, insightful enough and both courageous and honest enough to know that not only do you face some challenges, you can also offer some to offer. You are working on removing those challenges, or at least to keep them on a short leash and not biting you and anyone who approaches. For whatever reasons you had not been in a position to do that for too many years. Whether it was a parent who just wouldn’t listen or a health care system that doesn’t try and an entire fucking nation that doesn’t have a clue …
    … or maybe the occasional hopeful disillusion that things were better than they very well might have been.
    Doesn’t make a difference how something happened or didn’t happened, should have or shouldn’t have happened other than to determine how to minimize the lingering damage and to prevent it from spreading. I wish more of us understood that about ourselves as we wish others would about us.
    I think my understanding of that and Liz’s realization of that is what has carried us through.
    And I believe our union became stronger as each of us did in our own right, and as long as we never thought “never”.

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