First Time Since Meds

For the first time since I started my new meds, I had an episode 😦 I didn’t self harm but the thoughts to do so, and the suicidal thoughts, were strong. I ruined my relationship again and left myself standing in a complete mess that I hardly knew how to get out of, and almost didn’t get out of.

I’m sad and ashamed. I was doing so well for such a while. It’s been, what, 2 months? That’s excellent. I’m just bothered that this happened.

I tried to break up with my boyfriend again. I feel like I ruined our progress. Work sent me home because I was so upset. They were kind so it wasn’t like they kicked me out. It was more like a “Hey, go take care of yourself.”

I think since my Dad died I’ve been off. I’ve been sensitive and the meds just can’t beat a death in the family.

I hope my boyfriend still loves me the same. I hope things are ok. I hope I get better again.

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