Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

It’s me. Your little girl.

Remember that time when we were in church, and you were ushering and they dismissed the kids to go to their children’s service, and I ran out but ran back to give you a kiss and a hug? I remember that day vividly. One of the few moments in my childhood that I remember but I remember it because it was me allowing myself to be the daddy’s girl I always was and needed to be, but never fully could be.

Here I am, 29, and I still have that little girl inside of me, that Daddy’s girl. It’s sad that you were always too consumed with mental illness or addictions to be the Daddy that I needed, but I love you anyway. Like a child I find myself forgiving you for everything, being resilient and still wanting to be that little girl who just loves her Daddy, and is loved back by him.

I wanted to be your world, but your world was dangerous, busy, and full. Even though you’re gone, I somehow feel like I finally get to be that Daddy’s girl. You’re healthy and happy and no longer weighed down with your burdens. You can fit me in now, more than you ever could.

I miss you a lot today. I’m sitting in your chair, hugging your jacket, shedding many tears. Tears of sadness and tears of happiness.

I love you, Daddy. I can’t wait to see you again.

One thought on “Dear Daddy

  1. Keeping in mind the same type of talks I had with both my folks (in spirit if not in substance), this is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.
    I’ve had a number of people ask me what “Prodigal Orphan” is all about. What it means. What I mean for it to mean.
    We two have different stories to tell, different memories to share, but in your own way you just explained that better than I could.
    I can only imagine the beauty he found in your words.

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