The Sickness

Nausea. Tiredness. Fever. Sounds like the flu? But I think it’s just all anxiety-induced.

I’m going nuts. I think it’s in part because of withdraw from the meds, but I also know my relationship is triggering the shit out of me right now. I’m so tired of this situation with my boyfriend. I feel so neglected. I’m tired of it. Then when he texts me, if I don’t respond right away he is all sorts of worried. How does that not go both ways? Does he not get what it does to me when he is silent for hours? And when I text him all I get is these short answers?

I could hardly sleep. I feel so sick all over. My anxiety is so bad it’s making me ill. I’m shaky and getting the chills and hot flashes and I’m pretty sure I’m not actually sick. I’ve been trying all night to talk myself down but I can’t seem to.

I really hate life and love.

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