So I went to therapy yesterday and told him about my latest med issues. Have I talked about it yet?
Basically, I’ve been having INSANE nightmares where men are coming into my house and are raping me and attacking me and pulling me out of my bed to the floor. They’ve felt so real that I’ve woken up, called my boyfriend in a panic in the middle of the night, and have actually checked my body for signs that these things actually happened.
He slept over the one night to see if I was awake or sleeping when this stuff was going on because I felt like I was awake. Well I had another mild episode of it and he said I was sleeping but was making sounds.
SO, I called my doctor to get in as soon as possible for a med change. Well she is on vacation and I can’t see her until Aug 9th. I got a list of local psychiatrists from my insurance, and NONE of them are taking new patients. My current doctor doesn’t get along with my therapist and so she won’t take any of his recommendations. So I called my dr’s office back and requested to see a new doctor that will hopefully be willing to work with my therapist OR will just listen to me. I know what I’ve taken before and what works and I just wish someone would LISTEN.
Yea, right now, I just want to throw my hands up, middle fingers in the air, scream “fuck you” to the world, and blow my fucking brains out and then see who finally pays attention.
“Oh…if we had just listened to her…”