I just feel like I can’t go on anymore. I don’t want anyone at my fucking house. I don’t know why I even fucking try to be in relationships because I know better. I’m just not made for them. I’m not made for love. Nothing to do with it. I need to stick to my plan and keep my head straight. Make it til the kids are adults and then go. End it there. I just can’t do this.
I’m crawling in my skin. I feel poisoned. I feel like I need to throw up and not stop until this is all out of me. I want to cut myself open and dig and tear out all the bad that is inside me. I just want to feel good. I don’t remember what it feels like. I need help. Badly. I’ve got nothing. I’m just a thing. I need to go.