I. Just. Can’t.

I just feel like I can’t go on anymore. I don’t want anyone at my fucking house. I don’t know why I even fucking try to be in relationships because I know better. I’m just not made for them. I’m not made for love. Nothing to do with it. I need to stick to my plan and keep my head straight. Make it til the kids are adults and then go. End it there. I just can’t do this.

I’m crawling in my skin. I feel poisoned. I feel like I need to throw up and not stop until this is all out of me. I want to cut myself open and dig and tear out all the bad that is inside me. I just want to feel good. I don’t remember what it feels like. I need help. Badly. I’ve got nothing. I’m just a thing. I need to go.


3 thoughts on “I. Just. Can’t.

  1. Aww sweets,
    You can!!!
    You can make it through this. You aren’t alone, its hard. I know only too well just how hard but YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
    You aren’t bad, or poisoned, there’s no need to try and cut the bad out, simply because there’s no bad there,
    Your emotions will pass. I promise you. I guarantee it!! And you won’t be worse off. If you ficus on that. They’re just thoughts and they can’t hurt you and you won’t feel like this continuously without relief.
    I have BPD. I walk the road alone, the only thing beside me is my shadow. But I know this is the disorder.
    You are worthy babe. You have the inner strength. You are strong

  2. Hello Mandi
    I’m really sorry to hear that you feel like this. I feel powerless to say anything that could possibly help but I do feel for you 😦

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