They don’t even need me…

So I try to do a lot for my kids. I didn’t have the greatest childhood and I try to remember what I went through and how I felt and I try to make sure I don’t do that to my kids.

I work hard. I have worked very hard to get where I am. My tweet daughter just dismisses me. I’m only good enough for her when I’m giving her something or when she wants or needs something. I’ve been working very hard to be a better mom and disciplinarian because she was just turning into such an entitled disrespectful brat.

It worked. For a little. And today she started acting up again because I wouldn’t drive her to the park. So I took her new phone that I just bought her and told her to stay in her room until she was done being disrespectful.

So she proceeded to tell me that is why she hates living with me and wants to live with my mom or her dad (who has been in jail since she was 4 and still is). So just like that I am nothing.

My son over the summer was telling me how terrible of a mom I am.

I really have no reason to be here. I don’t know what I’m fighting for.

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3 thoughts on “They don’t even need me…

  1. Hello Mandi
    I’d never really thought how hard it must be to be a parent and have BDP; your children’s treatment of you must be so painful.

    Occasionally you have talked about being a mum on your blog and I always get the feeling that you are a good one. What I first thought when I read your post wasn’t that maybe your kids were right but to wonder how old they were as this sounds pretty much like normal behaviour. I also did a quick Google search and found things like this https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/i-hate-you-mom-i-wish-you-were-dead-when-kids-say-hurtful-things/

    I don’t think this is about you being a bad parent but about them dealing with life in a child like way as they grow up and learn. You just seem to be setting good boundaries and they are fighting against them.

    Children need a mother’s love even if they don’t see it; they need it to grow into healthy adults. You are as essential to them as the food they eat.

    M
    x

  2. Wonderfully written and helpful. Someone else commented but I deleted it. It hurt me. Part of me wants to just stay strong and stick to my rules and know that one day they’ll grow up and mature and realize all I did for them. Another part of me wants to just give up. Let her see how different and truly awful life would be with a dad fresh out of jail with no home or money or parenting skills would be. But I never want my kids to feel like I gave up on them because they got difficult. And I don’t want to risk the consequences of that either. I fight as a mom because I want the best for and out of them. At the same time I wish they understood how much their words can hurt a person. I try so hard.

  3. Thank you 🙂

    I hope that one day your commitment and unconditional love will be seen and appreciated by your children.

    M
    x

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