All it takes is one thing.
I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today which is mainly med management with a short therapy session. The only good I got out of this day is that he is hooking me up with a DBT therapist which I so desperately need.
Then one thing happens. I mean I know it’s small and I should let it go but I can’t stop it. It feels like something rips it’s evil claws into my stomach and is pulling out my insides. My brain gets frantic and instantly I’m in a rage that no one fucking understands.
I just want this to stop torturing me. God fucking forever. My whole life since I can remember. I can’t fucking stand it. Now everything is setting me off and I’m paranoid as fuck and I just want to die. I already know how I will do it. I just need two things. A place and the fucking guts to actually do it. It’s just not right that anyone should have to fucking live this way.
Just stop. I just want it to stop and leave me alone. Why?? Why can’t it just stop 😦