Fed the fuck up

I am so fucking fed up with everything. My life is a god damn mess. People at my job are fucking lazy idiots and nothing gets done about it. I’m a fucked up mess of shit.

I can’t go on like this. I’m so angry with God right now it’s disgusting. Why the hell do I need to live this way. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve the shit I’ve  been through and how fucking fucked up I am. 

I’m tired of everything. I just want to disappear in the worst way and be done with this. I can’t stand myself right now. I can’t stand being me. I am so uncomfortable in my own skin right now and to be brutally honest, I want to harm the shit out of myself right now. I don’t give a fuck what anybody says. I want blood, pain, and fucking death.

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2 thoughts on “Fed the fuck up

  1. Hello Mandi
    I’ve been thinking about your post for a while wondering what to say but I don’t know 😦 . As always I’m so sorry to hear how hard things are for you. I really hope therapy felt positive – that there is hope for you there.
    M
    x

  2. Hi Mandi,

    I’m so sorry to read that you feel like this. I can relate to it (Really, you speak for many of my recent thoughts!), even though I know our lives are different. I really hope you can find something you enjoy, or something that takes the strain off a bit. It appears to me that you’ve achieved so much, and you’re doing really well. I know that doesn’t make life easier, but I really want you to see what an amazing person you are, and everything you’re achieving (especially the things you have said about your attitude to parenting, and how much I admire you for trying to be the best parent against all of the hardship). I’m sorry if this is so out of place and unhelpful. Sending love. xx

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