Fucked up

I am so fucked today. I got an hour and a half of some kind of sleep last night. I didn’t fall asleep until around 5:30am. My meds didn’t work for some reason.

Now I am fucking miserable. My brain is messed up as it is but add no sleep to the mix and it’s all amplified. As if my normal intensity isn’t enough. The odd thing is im not even tired but everything is affecting me. Everything is making me so fucking angry. I can’t talk to anyone because they’re responses just piss me off. That voice just jumps in and starts talking shit. People are so full of fucking shit it disgusts me. 

No one is what they seem. I’m convinced of it. Nothing is safe. I don’t understand. I feel like I am the only one in this world like me. The whole world is in on this big conspiracy against me and I don’t know why. Why is no one genuine? Why me? What did I do to deserve this big bullseye on me? Why did God make me just to be shit on? I don’t get it. I don’t want to be around anyone. These fucking people are all up to some shit.

I need to get away but there is nowhere to run. I can’t hide or get away. They’re everywhere.


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