So silence is usually an ok or a bad thing for me. I either haven’t snapped and I’m pushing through, or my life is falling to pieces.
Well it’s gone to shit here lately. I haven’t been well. Hallucinations I think have been better since I increased my one medicine, but I’ve been flying off the handle quite a bit lately. Just pure rage. Tremendous pain.
Last night was bad. Very bad. I don’t even want to really talk about it. I’ve just been trying to forget about it.
I’ve said this before and I will say it again: I am exhausted. Even when I am seemingly ‘happy’, I still feel so different and hurt inside and I don’t always know why.
I hope but don’t really think that will ever change. I am me. This is it. This is what my life is. I can only hope that the many years in therapy will someday pay off.