So I’m just sitting here and just like that my brain flips its switch and I’m not fucking ok. What the fucking hell!!??
This is so fucking draining and I’m tired of being tortured by this bullshit. I wouldn’t care if I got into a car accident today and died. I’ve been wishing for something like that for a long time. Some sort of freak accident so I don’t have to be responsible for doing it to myself. It happens to people all the time, why not me?
Don’t give me the bullshit either that this just must be holiday stress or oh people love you and need you you’ll be fine. Not what I need to hear right now and if it were that fucking simple, no mental health diagnoses would exist.
So it’s ok for me to live like this every single fucking day of my god damn life but it’s not ok for me to want to end it, to end my suffering? Not sure who that makes more selfish.
I could break everything in my god damn sight right now.