I’m still not fully here. It’s like standing by the ocean. Ocean representing life. It creeps up closer to me in the sand and I keep stepping back so it doesn’t touch my feet, but every once in a while I let it get a little closer without running away from it. But any slight feel of the coldness on my feet just feels too dangerous because I can think of all of the awful things the ocean is capable of if it pulls me in. So quickly I run further away from it. It’s just not worth the risk and I’m just fine out in the sand where there are seashells and warmth and I can see everything around me. That ocean though. Just a few small steps in and your feet can no longer be seen. The further you go the less you can see and the higher the chance of something bad happening.
I hate the ocean. Maybe this is why.
I’m not ready to get back in. I’m tired of the in and out and as of right now I’m not even interested in getting my toes wet. I’d rather stay in the sand where nothing can hurt me and I can see clearly. I might be alone but I don’t care. There are others like me out there.