Slowly Removing the Band-aid

So my ex was supposed to be gone this weekend, as in moved out, but some unforeseen circumstances are in the way and he will be home a little longer. It’s like slowly removing a band-aid that I’d rather just rip off. I’m not used to this slowness and trying to work through situations and emotions like this. Not at all.

He hugged me this morning; like, held me in bed for a little bit. I’m not sure what that was supposed to mean.

My mom and Sister leave for vacation this weekend for a whole week and with all of this shit going on, I’m freaking out a little. If I am not ok, I literally have no one to help me. Worse yet, I don’t have therapy again until the 13th. My therapist gave me her cell phone number in case of emergency so I at least have that if something comes up.

I don’t like any of this. I’m very upset with myself and what I’ve done to my life. This just doesn’t feel right.

My anxiety has been really bad over this lately. It’s been so bad it’s been making me throw up at random times and then I can’t stop.

I just don’t know what I’m going to do.

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