So I was writing something to myself and realized that if he were writing the same type of thing about me, there are a lot of cons to being with me and hardly any pros. Maybe that is me being down on myself but maybe it is true. I believe it is.
I’ve given him absolutely no reason to be or stay with me, or to ever try with me again.
I need to change. Even if he doesn’t ever want me again, I am not the person I would have liked to think I was. That person is in me but has been so damaged and masked by my issues and I need to get her back.
I’ve not been a good person overall. I want to be a good person. Sure, I will never be perfect, but I could be a hell of a lot better than what I’ve been. Especially in regards to how I treat people who care for me.
I have a lot of inventory to do with myself. I’m already finding a lot of negative things about myself that I just never would have thought and don’t like admitting have been true. Work is so slow; can you tell? I’ve had so much time to think.