On the Brink of Insanity

My god. I feel like I’m going to lose my god damn mind. My thoughts are racing, my anxiety is rising, I feel like I’m going to snap. The thought of having to go home to my kids and fake being ok seems almost impossible. I feel like I need to run away for a little. Just go. Somewhere. I need to do something to get this evil poison out of me. I am freaking out and I can tell I need to breakdown. Cry. But I can’t get there. I know if I break and cry I will feel better but this fuckin shit knows just how to play me.

I feel like a puppet to this BPD bastard and it’s just constantly toying with me. I want it out of me. I want it out of my body. I don’t know how to get it out.

I don’t know where to go or what to do. I can’t slow down. I already took my anxiety meds twice and it’s not helping. I just need to crash already. Just let me cry. Let me feel. Don’t just fuck me around and torture me and steal me away. Just let me go and let me feel the hurt so I don’t have to do stupid things to get you away from me. Leave me alone already!!! 


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