Why can’t I?

Why can’t I just be normal? I have been trying to just embrace who I am, but today I’m having a really hard time with it. Why can’t I have things that normal people have? Why?

I am as comfortable in my life as I could possibly be, situation wise, but today I just feel empty and wish I didn’t have issues and was healthy. My life would be so much different right now if I were normal.

This is my comfort zone. Where I am right now. My situation. It is safe and fulfilling. As fulfilling as it can get anyway. I just don’t understand why this is what I need in order to be ok. What most people would frown upon is what makes me ok. It’s safety. 

I don’t know. Right now, today, I’m not very happy with my issues and how they make me need to live my life. I’m not mad at my situation, just mad that I wouldn’t be ok in what most would consider to be a better situation.

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