Why do I ever think maybe, just maybe I’m getting better. My brain fails me time and time again. I just want to break down right now. I am so broken. SO broken. I just don’t even know. I don’t know what to say, what to do. My thoughts are racing and it’s all so intense I feel like I could throw up. I really could. Just hug the toilet and let it out until there is nothing left. This BPD poison is once again infecting my body and I can’t do a thing about it. Right now I am done trying. I have no energy for this. I am defeated. And what do I have to look forward to? Another uneventful day at the office tomorrow. Defeated.